I Never Us To Cry

God has taken me through several seasons of Brokeness. Over the last four years, I have had all these seasons back to back and in this order; Expectations Dashed, Hope Deferred, Alienation, Attack on Reputation, Failure, Lack of Purpose, Isolation, and Attack on Health. Maybe I was so hard or so prideful or so self-reliant that He knew it would take several seasons and not just one, like many tell of. And, I’m not sure this trend of seasons that are conduits for brokenness have quite ended yet. In fact, maybe it is a life-long process – the seasons of brokenness never end until we are whole again with Christ.

One perfect symptom of this state of brokenness for me is I always cry. I Never Use To Cry….. Ever. I never use to cry…..and in actuality I had a bit of pride in this fact. I liked such words as “Stoic” and “Strong” and therefore like when they were associated with me. Movies moved me, but not a single tear would escape, but now the simplest of speeches will move me to tears. A profound quote in a book, insightful song and literally every time I walk into the presence of God cause me to “well-up”. I don’t think that it’s that I’ve just now discovered my “feminine side.” No. It’s that God has broken me…..

It’s funny; here in Africa most of my sermons to young people have been about the fact that we are vessels of potential. Potential that does not go away even when we have been damaged or wounded, failed or ignored. However, I think that God has given me a new revelation of how to truly release the potential that God has put into each one of us. That answer is brokenness. True potential cannot be released until you are broken. Here is the example that comes to mind. You know the piggy bank we had when we were little, that had no cork hidden in the bottom, but instead the only way to gain access to the money you had been saving was to physically break the piggy. This simple truth would cause you to think twice before accessing the worth that was inside. Sometimes, I think God uses life that way on us. The potential that God has put inside of us is valuable. He uses “life” to break us in order to get at what is valuable. Yet, not only does brokenness physically release the potential within us, but it provides a second revelation. Just as the action of breaking the piggy bank demonstrates that the contents of the bank are more valuable than the bank itself. I honestly think that maybe part of the purpose of the breaking process is to reveal the true value that is within.... to ourselves. God sees us not as we are, but as we are supposed to be... He wants to help us to see the same.

God has broken me in order that my true potential can be released from within me. The good news amidst the brokenness… is that God promises to complete the work that he begun in us (Phil. 1:6). And in fact, like Paul in 2 Corinthians, we may be broken, yet we will not be crushed.

Many people might also be in their own seasons of brokenness, and are running from church service to church service seeking healing for their brokenness. I’m beginning to realize that my same attempts were the wrong response to brokenness. Rather, God is asking us to see what He is trying to do through our Brokenness. He is asking us to see what potential he is releasing from within us. And to remember in the end, “all these truly do work for good to those who love Him.” (Rom. 8:28)