Nothing but a Nub

Before, I came to the Mission Field, and actually long before I knew that I would soon find myself in Africa, I wrote a Blog on Myspace called Is Your Faith Big Enough to Remain Nameless? It talked about that the call to Christ is the call to sacrifice. That walking in God’s purposes more often than not will not bring glory, nor is there any glamour in it. It was a piece of writing that I still pull out to remind me of my calling, align my perspective, and motivate my vision. Nevertheless, personal experience on the mission field has redefined my definition of what real sacrifice looks like and feels like.

I really only have a few stories from the mission field that are truly life-threatening or crisis-occurring experiences. The fact is that I’ve discovered that the hardest trial is that one which takes a little something from you day by day by day. The string of circumstances that individually hardly bare significance, but combined can equal big sacrifice. The lesser trial is the one time big sacrifice. Because, the fact is that after one big loss, the rest of your energy can be then focused fully on recovery. Or after the one big sacrifice, maybe you can get the human praise and encouragement after, that serves as a reward.

What is truly hard about the mission field is that the daily wearing down of your will and emotions. The mission field is like sand paper on your life. Culture and Circumstances that slowly whittle away at your patience, whittle away at your grace, whittle away at your energy, and may even whittle away at your joy, if you let it. The fact is that after six months in Africa, I can not point to one thing that was too hard to overcome or one thing that would force me to walk away. It’s never ONE thing. Instead it’s the daily occurrences that rub on you day in and day out, until ultimately you are “rubbed” down to nothing more than a nub. So here I am, nothing but a Nub. But, I think God can use a Nub.